I don’t think I am able to fork out quality time to sit down and write what have been happening in my life. When I don’t have the time, I have soooo much to say! But when I have the time, I will prolly suffer from mental block. Scumbag brain.
Trips to the nursing home to visit my grandma have proven to be getting a little more unbearable lately. I love my Ah Mah very much. She had always been a very independent old lady… very healthy and strong at the age of 90. She taught me how to do somersault (but no I still can’t do it alone!) and never fails to buy me my favourite Eggtart from Tong Heng whenever she has the time. But things changed after a bad fall she had late last year.
She was admitted to SGH for the longest time… Her memory, orientation and judgment deteriorate rapidly. It took us quite awhile before we were able to find her a spot in the nursing home.
I have visited numerous nursing homes for voluntary work and I hardly notice how bad the living condition were as I was too busy mingling with the old folks. When I have to take a closer look at the home because my grandma will be staying there for a really long time (probably for good), I really wish we have a second option.
I strongly disagree that there is no TV for them to watch in the room. I notice they do have one there but it seems like they never on it AT ALL throughout the whole day. I don’t think I have to remind them how unhealthy is it to be shut off from the outside world.
And please, don’t let me recall how they literately force food into my grandma’s mouth. As much as I understand they were probably short handed, my grandma have problem in swallowing liquid so she has to add thickener in all her fluid intake. Won’t you feel bad to see a 90 years old old lady choking!?
My Ah Mah have been really “naughty” these days. Initially I was very against the idea of tying her up to the bed but she always tries to get off the bed and end up fall down and have to be admitted to the hospital again. I know she gets very frustrated for being tied up, but I rather she pekchek then to see her fall down again.
Never in my whole life have I seen Ah Mah throwing tantrum until last Sunday. I know she doesn’t like to wear diaper but we really didn’t have a choice. So lately the nurses complained to us that grandma pulled out her soiled diaper and throw it on the floor, messing up the whole place. When i went to visit her last weekend, she has this bedpan on her bed. I remove it and place it on the floor because it’s a used one with pee inside. Can’t imagine her kicking it off and spill everything on the floor.
When she notice that the bedpan is gone, she started shouting, crying and hitting the bed asking for it. I was so lost at that point of time that I raised my voice at her. From then I know, her condition will probably get worse…
I really hate to see what she has to go through from now on… And I think I should learn to be more patient in dealing with her condition and behavior from now on.
Hang in there Ah Mah. You will never be alone… We love you!
